Why do the letters A-D make up nearly three-quarters of my comic book collection? Read on, O frantic one... |
Smoke-filled backrooms, shadowy handshakes set to the tune
of sinister laughter and The Man pulling the wool over the eyes of the huddled
masses. Who doesn’t love a good conspiracy theory?
Well, grab a bag of popcorn and cuddle up with your
childhood teddy bear because and I’ve got a conspiracy theory the size of a
125-year-old sturgeon.
Sitting on my dining room table is a cardboard long box full
of every comic book I’ve purchased over the past two years. They’re neatly
organized in alphabetical order by title. When filing away a few weeks worth of
comics recently I noticed something very suspicious: The letters A-D make up
nearly three-quarters of my collection.
Dun-dun-dunnnnnnn!
How could this be? Out of 24 inches of comics, how do
the first four letters of the alphabet take up 14 inches of real estate?
Here’s my theory: In all of the comic book shops I’ve ever
been to, the racks of new comics are alphabetized by series title and (here’s the kicker) the letter A is
usually the closest to the door, or, the first thing you see when you walk
inside. As a customer, it’s only natural that I begin perusing the racks at The Avengers and work my way down to Zatanna.
The evil publishers know this and title their series’
accordingly. They know that as the lowly customer makes that long walk down the
racks, picking up whatever grabs their attention, they’ll be more likely to
think twice about the last book they pick up than the first.
Closed circuit to Mr. Fancy-Pants-Publisher: I am onto you. I
refuse to spend another day as a slave to your alphabetical trickery. From this
point forward I’m starting at X-Men
and working my way back to Batman.
Take that!
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